The first message that actually gets answered

Everyone knows "hey" doesn't work. Fewer people know what does.

Ask about something that's already there

The profiles that get replies aren't the prettiest ones — they're the ones that give you something to ask about. A bouldering gym in the background. A prompt answer about burnt pancakes. A city you've been to.

A first message that references one specific thing gets answered roughly three times as often as one that doesn't. Not because it's clever, but because it's easier to answer. "Where was the hiking photo taken?" has an obvious reply. "Hey beautiful" doesn't.

Length is a red herring

Short messages don't fail because they're short. They fail because they're generic. Two sentences about one detail beat six sentences about nothing.

Don't open with a compliment about looks

It's the most common opener and the least answered one. The person has heard it today already, probably more than once. A compliment about something they chose — a place, a book, a dog with a ridiculous name — lands differently, because it's about them and not their genetics.

Send it the same evening

Matches go cold fast. A message sent within a few hours of matching is answered far more often than one sent three days later, when neither of you remembers swiping.

None of this is a formula. It's the same thing that works in a bar: notice something, be curious about it, and give the other person an easy way to say something back.